AS I AM believe Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

James 1:27

My mother was addicted to work, it is understandable, my father had abandoned him when I must have been two years old. When my parents divorced, I spent most of my time with my father’s second spouse. God was never mentioned in my house and all I learned from my mother was that violence just because I wanted to be who I am. I remember being a disturbing, violent, and very hard-hitting child, longing for an emotional and sometimes sexual relationship with anyone my age. I can still feel the chills on my body when I think back to that day when I discovered that the street offered me the possibility of having a family and new companions. I was six years old when I started to feel abandoned and left to myself. Despite this, I always felt alone and I was always looking to establish new relationships with children my age, but also with adults (men) and it was at this time that I lived my first experiences as victim of sexual assault and sexual abuse. So I became a heavy burden for my mother. It was sometimes frightening, sometimes I was Portuguese or I found myself sleeping alone with friends, in a motel room, and sometimes with a girlfriend. I no longer had my place in my own family. Anyway, when I was nine, I wanted to start killing my mother. I got a .410 caliber weapon. I had put my ass on the steps of the stairs with the rifle between my legs and a belt of ammunition on my shoulder. I was silently reflecting on my desire to end my mother’s life. I then abandoned this project in order to flee from my home for a long period of time and finally find myself staying, fed by the state in various families and correctional institutions for minors.

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